There is a common theme all around the world: people are feeling lost and anxious. The pandemic has been two edge swords in the way it has been experienced. Some have experienced it as a “blessing” in disguise, in the sense that it has allowed them to change their priorities and to tidy up various areas of their life. But it has also been experienced as a traumatic time. For those who have lost loved ones, their income, their freedom, the connection with their family, friends…
Regardless of whether you are in the first or latter category, we have all been experiencing at some stage anxiety, feeling lost, lonely, disconnected, isolated either during the worse of the pandemic or the aftermath, when we kind of went back to some “normality”.
To be frank, I do not think that my life will ever be “normal” or “like before”. A mourning process has been necessary to say goodbye to what was and be comfortable embracing what is new, unknown, uncertain. I have never felt comfortable with uncertainty, I am the kind of person who likes a certain control over my life. I have always heard that the only consistent thing in life is inconsistency. I can say that I am starting to understand what it means.
The pandemic has created a lot of anxiety in me, a feeling of not knowing what to do, of not wanting to make any decision because “who knows…?”, of nostalgia of what was. It has highlighted some of my limiting beliefs about abundance, lack, fear of moving forward, of failure. I felt lost, as everything that I took for granted was taken away from me or put on hold for a while. Not knowing when I could enjoy them once more.
On the positive side, I have noticed some changes in me. I have become clearer in what I want and what does not work for me anymore. I have felt blessed that I could spend more time with my daughter. I could focus on me without feeling guilty. There was nowhere to go, nothing to do, so no distractions but me, myself and I.
What has helped me during those difficult times and still do:
· Talking to someone I love and trust
· Going to the beach and putting my feet in the water (to ground myself)
· Laugh and play like a kid with my daughter
· Accept that some days, I feel angry, disappointed, disillusioned, judgemental and it is ok
· Energy healing
· Help my friends, family
· Watch a movie that makes me feel good
· Dance like my life depends on it
· Sing like no one is listening
· Cry when I feel that sense of loss, of what was, of sadness, loneliness, nostalgia
· Go for a walk
It is so easy to feel confused, lost and angry. I thought I had to keep it all together everyday, I used to be very hard on myself.
But I have decided to uncover what is right for me at the present time, it may not be right tomorrow but the main thing is that I am learning to listen to myself and to be flexible.
I am nice, patient and understanding with myself as much as I possibly can. To do so, the mantra “I am doing the best I can with what I have under those circumstances” has helped me immensely. I do not achieve that state everyday; some days are very challenging but now I am accepting it all.