Updated: May 24
How do we make decisions? How do we position ourselves? Do we believe that we always have a choice or are we in the “I do not have a choice” camp?
We make choices everyday of our life. We categorize our choices into big ones, small ones, mundane ones…. Are we fully aware of the power, of the impact of our choices? Are some decisions easier than others or are we terrified by the thought of having to make a choice?
When I ponder over my life, I can clearly see that I was a procrastinator in the decision-making process. I would not even decide about which restaurant to go to. I will leave it to someone else to make the decision and subsequently to bear the consequences of it.
I spent many years believing that I had no choice. I felt powerless, trapped, stuck mainly in my own head. Injustice, unfairness were how I would see my world.
I could not fathom the importance of positioning myself by choosing consciously every day.
How do you push through fears?
Before attempting to answer the above question, it is important to outline some of the most common fears that prevent us from choosing:
· Fear of failure
· Fear of success
· Fear of being judged
· Fear of being humiliated
· Fear of lack (money, time…)
· Fear of being hold accountable for the consequences
I do not believe that eliminating all fears, waiting until you have all the answers is the way to go. It can take years before those things happen. While your life keeps moving forward, you remain stagnant.
Ask yourself “How many of my greatest fears have really happened?”. Quite often, the answer is none, or it was not as bad as expected.
I believe that being conscious of our fears is the first step. Then, start small and as you build confidence, you can get more adventurous. You may think “easy said than done”. It is true, it is easier said than done as we usually go through our own process that is influenced by our traumas, fears….
If we are motivated to live a full life, if we want to give ourselves a chance to live the life we are dreaming of, if we want to live with no regrets, then we need to get out of our comfort zone.
Looking backwards for guidance could be a “trap” as it is based on who you were back then and not considering the person you are now, the learnings you have accumulated, the current situation…
As J.P. Sartre said “We are our choices”.